Okay so this is a food blog, not a personal blog so Im sorry but I've decided to reflect a little on the last few months which have changed my life. Don't worry food has played a big part because thats my life, or at least its about to be.
I left my job in April this year, a very stressful job in Television Production in search of what ever it was that would make me happy. I had a little savings which I was meant to spend paying off my student loan but I decided to invest in my mental health, happiness and future. I realise Im lucky to have this opportunity and I appreciate especially Nick for giving me the chance to go away and sort my self out because thats exactly what I needed to do.
A little over a year ago whilst really down about my work situation Nick and I started brain storming things that I liked. I was convinced I was useless at anything else and therefore I was trapped, I didn't know how to do anything else. I thought I would have to stay in my job because I had no other skills and the only other choice was is to go back to school and study something else which I couldn't afford to. I'm still struggling to comprehend the first debt let alone get myself in to more.
The list of things I like included, vintage, travel, festivals, brunch, cakes, eating out and food in general. Nick and I were lucky enough to be eating at some nice places at the time and we decided to start a blog about it. As well as writing reviews I started to bake a little plus Nick is a great cook and I knew he could post some interesting recipes. We went to Fernandez and Leluus supper club and were inspired to start our own focusing on our knowledge and passion for brunch. We based it on what we get at home in Australia and New Zealand and felt we couldn't find in London.
Suddenly I realised I loved this and I could use my organisation skills I already had from Producing, to create an event such a brunch club and coordinate the menu, the preparations, the day, the service and at the end of it all, unlike some of my past clients, the smiles that we received from our friends eating at our brunch made me so happy.
After much thought I took a huge step and left my job. I needed some time out for myself to make myself better before I truly had the strength and courage to try something completely different off my own back.
The people seem happier than the people in London, I really believe its the weather and I am affected by the weather massively. Grey wasn't just the colour of the clouds in London it became my state of mind and I needed to get out of that.
I needed a guaranteed supply of yellow, blues and greens and I knew I would find it here.
With determination I booked a 6 week Spanish course in Barcelona and I found a lovely place to live with wonderful people who welcomed me and became instant friends. The happiness came upon me in such a rush that I was over whelmed with how good I felt, because I hadn't for so long. I suddenly felt I had to stay longer and I doubled my course length. My leaving date disappeared and I was set to stay.
Cosmosoiree and Brigettes Brunch) I found them and I met some lovely people who have become great friends. But I realised I missed my brunch club and my style of food which isn't usual here.
I finished my course in September and it was around this time I suddenly I started feeling some emotions I hadn't felt for a while, they included passion and ambition. Although work had caused me so much stress in the past its in my nature to work hard and have goals. I want to succeed.
With this new found desire I started thinking about how I could go about starting a business in catering, food or events. Right now Barcelona is a hard place to start a business, apart from the recession there's the high level of unemployment, bad pay, my lack of Spanish language, the fact the main language isn't Spanish anyway and lets not forgot the wonderful Nick back in London waiting patiently for me to sort it out. I started to get confused again, stay here, wait and try and earn a little bit of money and maybe eventually start doing some brunch clubs here or get a job in food events or go back to London and just do it right now. I'm a little impatient, I know what I want and I want it now.
Barcelona seems to me a place to come to distract yourself from your past demons and I mean that in a good way. Its has been very healing but I could see myself getting completely lost in the fun here, staying forever but never quite achieving what I wanted. I thank friends for helping me to figure out a path back towards what I want and letting me know I haven't failed by leaving here, rather gained all my confidence back with which I can go forward with my dreams.
If you ever feel lost or down or unsure of where you're going I couldn't recommend this place more. Its saved me, Im not joking.
Around the time I was deciding if I should come back to London Nick sent me this quote he'd seen whilst in Bristol, actually on looking it up its from a poem by J.R.R Tolkien and appears in the first Lord of the Rings novel. The first two lines were what Nick sent me and I thought it was very true for how I was feeling at the moment. So here it is...
- All that is gold does not glitter,
- Not all those who wander are lost;
- The old that is strong does not wither,
- Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
- A light from the shadows shall spring;
- Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
- The crownless again shall be king